life of an artist

I have been looking at my almost finished grape trellis in my back yard. I have been building this for the past several months when I get a chance usually on Sundays. It is a whimsical piece. As I look at it I see all the mistakes I made, that is the trouble with being the creative type, our creativity is our best friend and also our worst enemy. It is a free form piece and the lumber I am using is very limited in size and quantity, I have had the lumber for years that I bought for a song, so the material is very limiting. It makes me think about how can I be creative for other people if I am not creative for myself. What I see is how the second step I took in making this trellis was very wrong and I regret it. That makes me think about how any great painter will say that the first stroke they make in a painting is wrong. I have said this before about installing cabinets that usually when I make a mistake in an installation it is with the first or second move. I have had people in my industry in other shops say that mistakes are for amateurs, and that really affects me because I make so many mistakes, is that to say that I will never be any but an amateur. I don't know.....well for now I believe that if you aren't making mistakes than you aren't pushing yourself forward. If you aren't willing to make mistakes than you will stifle your growth. I prefer to find creative ways to recover from making mistakes. In the mistake with my trellis I can't go fix this mistake I have to live it, look at it everyday. being a builder is in some ways a dismal life because we are constantly reminded of our mistakes. Look at the builder of the leaning tower of Pizzas, until his death he faced his errors everyday he looked at his achievements.